<rant> Women are all “boohoo… equal work equal pay…”. If you want treated as equal, then stop warping killer-death junk food like potato chips into health food. Life expectancy for men is 5 years shorter than for women. This is due to our love for real chips (and real beer and real chicken wings and real pizza…).

The last thing we wanted as kids was to be considered special. Special kids rode on special buses and went to special classes and had special lunches fed to them. So my view of Special K is already tainted. But when you take the concept of a potato, sprinkle it with celery powder, and then heat it in diet air to make a healthy low-cal snack, that askew view is perfectly justified. Potato chips should contain two ingredients: Filthy potatoes and salt. At least one of these should spend a portion of time in very hot grease of questionable origin. The more questionable the origin, the better the flavor. Example: Carnival chips are fried at least once in grease that was used earlier in the day in the loud inner workings of a ferris wheel. These chips are heavenly in flavor. Some chips are fried in the oil of Trans-Fat free, baby sesame seeds that were hand selected by only the silentest of Tibetan monks. These chips taste like wet plywood.

Men aggressively seek high-pay, low-work jobs so we can complain about stress when we get home where we make body noises while eating REAL chips watching guys larger than adult yaks beat each other to a pulp interrupted only by commercials about blond girls dancing around laughing about beer being enjoyed out of aluminum cans. (this is funny because beer should not be served and cannot be enjoyed when it tastes like aluminum)

Equality is fine. As long as you realize what you are truly asking for and are willing to pay that price.</rant>